Help!

The SEVEN
by Mack Williams
3 February 2017

I. Hurry!

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Will someone please call Commissioner Gordon and tell him to turn on the Barack signal? It’s an emergency! Make sure he tells him we need his wife.

II. Again?

It certainly seems ironic that the African-American hosts of the Today show’s 9:00am hour – Al Roker and the now departed Tamron Hall – are being bumped in favor of Megyn Kelly, who insisted (while on FOX news) that Jesus

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and Santa Claus were white.

When I got married my morning news show of choice was Good Morning America, but I soon found that my bride was a Today show person. Being the “aim to please” husband that I am, I moved to Today. Now I think it’s time for me to take another little break from Today like the one I took when Ann Curry was jerked around.

III. I Hope Not

Is it too late for President Trump to borrow Dr. Khan’s copy of the constitution?

IV. Skeptical

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If you happen to be on the fence in terms of religion, a bunch of your friendly neighborhood conservative “evangelicals” might very well be pushing you away. They have spent decades urging believers to be involved in the political process, saying that God needed to be in the houses of government. Then when Donald Trump wants to ban Muslims, mocks the disabled, and speaks of “bad hombres” in Mexico and grabbing women’s private parts, they support him. What is it about President Trump – who solicits prayer for Celebrity Apprentice ratings at the National Prayer Breakfast – that reminds them of “love thy neighbor?”

And now this week Pastor Darrell Scott States on national TV that he was contacted by gang bangers to be a conduit to the Trump administration, only to walk that back hours later. What should make me believe you from your pulpit, Pastor Scott, when you didn’t speak truthfully on TV?

V. G.O.A.T.

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When people speak of the history of the New York Yankees and the 27 championships they have won, they often characterize the Yankees as the greatest franchise of all time, by virtue of their standard of excellence over such a long time.

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So now is Serena Williams the greatest female tennis player ever?

VI. Royal Rumble

It occurs to me that the political parties in Congress are like the participants in a professional wrestling match. The Democrats are like the wrestler that wants to shake hands before the match, and follow the rules. The Republicans are like the “heel” that kicks his opponent in his privates while the ref has his head turned, and then denies doing anything wrong once confronted. After a while one has to fight fire with fire.

VII. Irony

How will it feel to be Roger Goodell if you have to hand the Super Bowl MVP trophy to the same Tom Brady you suspended for the first four games of the season?

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