by Mack Williams
17 December 2016
I. Broken Cabinet
Dr. Ben Carson is a surgeon, a great one at that. Presidential candidate, not so much – at least in a Republican Party devoid of people like Nelson Rockefeller, Clifford Case, and Edward Brooke, statesmen and leaders of the party in years past. But a surgeon he is. So why wouldn’t President-Elect Trump nominate him for Surgeon General?
Part of the rationale given for his nomination to be Secretary of HUD is that he lived in public housing. That’s like saying I can manage a Major League Baseball team because I’ve attended games at about 25% of the MLB stadiums. Actually, cancel that analogy; I could manage a Major League Baseball team…and very well, at that…still waiting for that call!
It’s really like Royal Caribbean appointing me to be the captain of a cruise ship because I took the Staten Island Ferry.
II. Busted Cabinet
Texas Gov. Rick Perry has been nominated to be Energy Secretary. Okay, let’s go on and give him a pass on the noise he made about Texas seceding from the United States…but isn’t he the guy, while running for president in 2012, called for the elimination of the Department of Energy? Meanwhile, Betsy DeVos – a big proponent of school vouchers – has been nominated to head the Department of Education. These appointments are like putting the fox in charge of the hen house.
III. Small Business Administration Counted Out
A skeptic might ask if one of former WWE CEO Linda McMahon’s qualifications to head the Small Business Administration is the fact that the McMahon family has made huge donations to Trump’s foundation and campaign. It certainly cannot be her track record; WWE has been famous for using clout to put small wrestling companies OUT of business.
But let me not be skeptical; maybe the President-Elect is on to something. To that end, here are a few more Cabinet post suggestions:
Health & Human Services: The Undertaker
If your health is failing to the utmost, The Undertaker can assist with final services.
Secretary of State – Dwayne Johnson
His movies are all over the world, so diplomacy should be a snap. If not, he can lay the smackdown on his foreign counterparts.
Energy – Rey Mysterio
The 619 guy definitely displays much energy as he flies around the ring.
Surgeon General – Stone Cold Steve Austin
Transportation – Ric Flair
Despite having a few other responsibilities, Mr. Trump will remain an executive producer of Celebrity Apprentice. Does he really want to be president for two terms? Does he really want to sit behind a desk for one, when he could be grabbing women, firing people and keeping company with celebrities like Kanye West?
By the way, was the Kanye visit to Trump Tower filmed for Keeping Up With The Kardashians?
V. Sportsman of the Year
LeBron James is a much deserving recipient of Sports Illustrated’s Sportsman of the Year award – and from my perspective, for more than leading the Cavs back from a seemingly insurmountable 3-1 deficit to defeat the mighty pre-Durant Golden State Warriors. We all know he’s a great player, but an additional great thing is that he and his Superfriends Dwyane Wade, Chris Paul and Carmelo Anthony recognize that with greatness comes a platform should you choose to use it.
Meanwhile, as I think about this young season’s Player of the Year,
I am led to wonder what the first coach I worked under – a total basketball traditionalist – is thinking about Russell Westbrook. This is a coach who specifically praised Bill, our starting point guard, for his outstanding play and leadership in a game in which he scored zero. If Russell – whose games have become must-see TV for me – scored zero, he must have sprained his ankle in the first quarter.
But in reality, Russell Westbrook does some of the same type of things that Bill did: handle the ball, set up the offense, break down his defender and find an open man – Steven Adams should be taking him to dinner weekly – as the defense converges. So I think Coach should like Russell for doing the things he preached…and then some (since Bill didn’t fly down the lane to slam on the opposing centers).
How fitting it was that Craig Sager got to work the sidelines at the NBA Finals for the first time this past June, something that had not been available to him because Turner Sports never airs the Finals. Someone had to have a sense it should be made available to him sooner rather than later. He will be missed.
VII. Last Second Present
If you are looking for a last second present for a young person in your life, please check out my book!
Jackie Robinson and the Negro Leagues – Facebook.com/jackienegroleagues.