I Pity The Fool

The SEVEN
15 March 2013

I.  Midnight Confessions

What does one say to a new Pope?  Is it – as a gentleman once said to me upon my taking on a new position – “congratulations, or my condolences,” given the myriad of things on the plate for Pope Francis?

The Cardinals were secluded from the world until such time as they made a selection, so there was no way I could have provided any input…but had they asked, I would have offered – as, admittedly, a non-Catholic – a suggestion to the guys:

How about a woman?

II.   Career Change

New York’s Cardinal Timothy Dolan, when asked about his chances of succeeding Pope Benedict, claimed that he had a “better chance following A-Rod at third base for the Yankees than following Benedict XVI as the bishop of Rome.” But at this time when those Cardinals over there are ushering in a new season in Catholicism, and these Cardinals (and Yankees, and 28 other teams) over here are preparing to usher in a new season of their own, it might be time for Dolan to dust off his glove for the Yankees, especially since he was not selected to be the new Pope.

He didn’t think much of his chances for either position, but now since he knows that he won’t be the Pope, perhaps he should dust off his glove.  A-Rod will be out for months, first baseman Mark Teixeira is out for several weeks, and center fielder Curtis Granderson, the fifth Yankee all-time to record consecutive 40-plus home run seasons, is out for weeks as well.  They might be able to use him in the Bronx.

III.  G.O.A.T.

One person that Dolan would definitely not be able to replace is closer Mariano Rivera, the greatest reliever of all time, who has announced that 2013 will be his last season.  Fans of the sport will miss seeing the last grandfathered user of number 42 break bats with his cutter as he closes games, but his departure will lead to a whole new era for the Yankees. Ever since 1997, his entry into a game has basically signaled a Yankee win, and they have been able to set their bullpen knowing that they just needed to get through the eighth inning and to Rivera – but come next year…back to the drawing board.

IV.  The Wrong Stuff – Mets version

Given what could be the futility of the New York Mets, third baseman David Wright  – who now is sitting down due to a rib injury – should have probably saved some of his 10 World Baseball Classic runs batted in for the season.

V.   The Wrong Stuff – Jets version

We all know that offense gets you on the highlight shows – in whatever sport you’re talking about – but it’s defense that puts you in position to get the gold.  So why on earth would the New York Jets even be thinking about letting Darrelle Revis, the best cornerback on the planet, walk away?

While we’re asking Jets questions, why didn’t they give Tim Tebow – who had just taken Denver to the playoffs the year before – a shot instead of the shaft?

VI.  Shaqtin’ A Fool

Love watching that segment on one of my favorite shows, Inside The NBA, in which they often mess with JaVale McGee – whether making a bad or good play – but quiet as it’s kept, JaVale and the Denver Nuggets are playing some ball and making their opponents look like the fools.  The only reason why “quiet as it’s kept” is applicable with the Nuggets – winners of 10 straight with a 29-3 record at home – is that the Miami Heat have won 20 straight.

If the Nuggets get one of the top four seeds in the Western Conference – which I believe that they will – it will be extremely difficult to beat them in the first round this year.

VII.  Just A Fool

Justice Scalia thinks continuation of the Voting Rights Act is a “perpetuation of racial entitlement.” Apparently he believes that these people for whom the Voting Rights Act was enacted are not worthy of having their rights protected, kind of like the 47% that are unworthy of all that they expect from government.

I think Justice Scalia should resign so he can wear his hood full-time. And take Justice Thomas with him.

 

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